either here or there

Illustrations by Pia Alizé Hazarika

The more I think about it, the more I realise that I might not have been ‘home’ since 2005.

I left for college. Then extended my stay in Bangalore for another 4 years.
Moved back to Delhi, but it wasn’t ‘home’ because of my parents’ proclivity to shift every few years – moving
further and further away from the city center.
Every time I came back, it was to a new house.
I moved to my own apartments, by myself, with people but nothing stuck.
I moved to Bombay –that lasted 8 months.
And then I moved back to Delhi.
I’ve been there for 2 years now but I still have a suitcase sitting in the corner of my room.
Throw in a few other places like Assam, Chennai, Kolkata, and Goa and that pretty much rounds up where I’ve lived over the last 15 years, and felt like I was home, but at the same time – displaced, half occupied cupboards and the suitcase – always sitting in the corner of my room.

Nothing ever felt like home. There were houses, sure. But not homes.

I understand there’s a certain amount of privilege that comes with constant ‘travel’, but it’s been for births and deaths, celebrations and sickness, love and eventual heartbreak – or just a ‘come stay a while’ Life (and I) seemed to have been in a constant physical state of flux.

That would explain why my things are spread all across the country.
Why most of the cities I have lived in, still familiar rather than alien.
Why there is relief and familiarity every time a plane lands.

Why for the last few years, my friends had a running joke about how I’m a *insert city of choice* based Illustrator.

I realise that maybe home isn’t a physical space, but it’s the people.
The ones that inhabit each of these places.
The ones that have seen me through different phases of my life – like four walls and a roof should.
Every time I go to them, I feel like I’m coming home.

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editor's note

Volume 10

contact | shadow | fringe

I’ve been reflecting on the theme for our tenth volume, a lovely milestone that coincides serendipitously with the warehouse’s tenth year, and how it feels apt for the moment we find ourselves in currently. The theme straddles a threshold. The movement from this side to the far side. It isn’t inherently accompanied by an emotion. And yet, I feel it suggests a sense of hopefulness. 

This isn’t in a vacuum but is influenced by two events that concern themselves with a tremendous threshold: our atmosphere and the expanse beyond it. I am referring to the successful flyby mission around the moon by the Artemis II and the release of the film “Project Hail Mary” (adapted from Andy Weir’s novel of the same name). These two events, coinciding in this manner, serve less as random happenstance and more as a reminder, as Carl Sagan said, “The Cosmos is within us. We are made of star-stuff.” A reminder that everything out there, is also everything in here. It serves as a reminder for hope that as we resume our exploration of the darkest depths of the universe, we must take that strength to step forward from our own personal shadows.

Shadows can be freeing. There is comfort in creating, expressing, and working without scrutiny or pressure or expectation. It has potential for great freedom, movement, and discovery. However, when the driving force isn’t exploration then it can be crippling and lead to paralysis. In those moments, “coincidental” events like these can be arresting and provide a sense of hope that the next step is all that matters. One step at a time soon becomes many past an imposing threshold. As we gather momentum, pressure is bound to build. It is here, with changed circumstances, that the intention must persevere. Learning the rules, allows the impact of breaking them to feel that much sweeter, but that isn’t necessary. Acting from pure instinct allows for an innate expression to present itself. It is balancing this, instinct versus experience, that proves vital to take experience into one’s stride with child-like instinct and intention.

Our focus, at imprint and G5A, on independent stories allows this freedom. It is something we work to preserve so that the experience of ten volumes and ten years, respectively, does not weigh us down but lifts us up through the shadows and into the expanse. This is not easy but it is simple. When you default to curiosity and wonder, it isn’t a matter of ‘if’ but ‘when’.

We’re excited for Volume 10 and everything it will hold.